Back in college, as now, I took a fair amount of crap for being a Cheesehead. This is especially true whenever some story comes out of Wisconsin that is particularly embarrassing. So, in an effort to make things a little easier, some of my buddies and I concocted an alternate upbringing so I could temporarily not be a Cheesehead. Basically, my alternate Minnesota childhood is that I am from Windom. I went to Windom High School, cheered heartily for the Windom Eagles, and so on. We never really finished construction of it, but Windom is a random enough Minnesota city that not many people I've encountered in the Twin Cities know anyone from there. Of course, I've never actually told anyone I am from Windom, but it's a good running joke with some of my friends.
Anyway, it's stories like this one that make me want to assume the Windom upbringing. What the hell was on this woman's mind? Is this the Sheboygan version of the Duke brothers' bet in Trading Places? "I bet you a buck that I can shoot little Betsy in the leg with this here BB gun." For God's sake, you shouldn't even joke about stuff like that, let alone actually do it!!! This woman should never be allowed to be a parent again. Tie her tubes, send her to Taycheedah, and never let her near this poor girl ever again. This girl is better off being a ward of the state. Oh, the boyfriend should be smacked around repeatedly for letting this happen. Freaking idiots!!
So for the next few days, I am a Windomer. Go Eagles!!
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2 comments:
Hey, there are morons everywhere. And I've always thought of you more as someone from Gonvick.
Crap like that does make you wince for our fair state, though, so I understand the impulse.
Nah, it has to be a town like Windom. It's small enough that not many people know people from there, but big enough that at least some people have heard of it.
I know there are idiots everywhere, but it does seem like more stories like this come from Wisconsin than other places, like Minnesota. Of course, if anyone ever investigated western Stearns County, you could find some funny stuff there. And, there is the whole Jordan thing.
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