Watching from the sidelines

I wanted to link to this post from Mr. Dilettante. As my nascent blogroll indicates, he is my brother. The post itself explains the situation and his take on it very well. However, I wanted to share my sideline perspective. When he called to tell me he was going to have surgery, I was on my way to visit a friend who was having a really hard time recovering from brain cancer (ultimately she succumbed to it, unfortunately). Given the timing of the phone call, to be blunt, I was scared. Having lost a number of close relatives over the years (including my parents), anytime anyone in my family goes into the hospital, there is always that lingering doubt. Plus, seeing a good friend deteriorate before my eyes didn't help ease my mind. After the surgery, I visited him a couple of times: once on Easter with his wife and kids, and the next day by myself after work. It was a really nice visit in that we talked about a lot of what we usually talk about: baseball, music, politics, etc. I thought he held up really well, so I was surprised to read how scared he was.

I re-learned a valuable lesson during this time about not taking people for granted. In the ten years since I moved back to Minnesota for school, we have gotten together fairly often, but he largely let me blaze my own trail up here. For that I am grateful because it allowed me to become my own person. However, since the surgery, I have tried (with some success, but not always) to be better about talking with him and being more of a presence in his life, as well as his family. It really occurred to me that he and his family are the only rock I have here in Minnesota. Friends come and go, but they have always been there for me, the punk little brother. Even if it has been somewhat of a pain for him (I don't have a car), I hope it is worth it. It sure is for me.

Here's hoping things continue to flourish for Mr. D.